These Robert Greene Quotes Will Re-Shape the Way You Think

Robert Greene’s quotes are about two types of people.

Some people focus on how the world should work and others focus on how the world actually works.

He talks about the downfalls of the former and the benefits of the latter in his books on power, persuasion, and life-mastery in his controversial best-selling books like “The 48 Laws of Power” and “The Art of Seduction.”

If you focus on the way the world should work, you suffer for it because you ignore human nature and are blindsided by other people. Your idealistic lens will keep you from understanding reality, which prevents you from being powerful.

If you know how the world actually works, you get ahead because you understand what drives people. You know how to persuade. You know what to say and when to say it.

It’s important to mention: This doesn’t mean using power, persuasion, and strategy for evil purposes.

Ironically, people who don’t learn these skills are doing themselves and others a disservice.

Persuasion helps bring people to your cause.

On a subconscious level, people like playing social games, being seduced, and doing an indirect dance. We don’t always want to know how the sausage is made. We love our illusions.

Your inability to do that dance prevents people from being in your life who would love to be there under the right circumstances. It also invites unnecessary strife and pain.

These Robert Greene quotes (and his entire catalog) are dedicated to showing you not only how the world works but also how to use this knowledge to your advantage.

Let’s look at seven of my favorite pieces of wisdom from one of my favorite writers of all time.

1. Stop letting others define you

Understand this: society wants to assign you a role. As soon as you accept that role, you’re doomed.

Go to school. Get good grades. Find a nice stable and secure job. Buy a house in the suburbs. Have 2.5 kids, a dog, and a picket fence.

How many times have you heard this version of the American dream?

It’s a dream that has been fed to us over time by a never-ending campaign that started when we were children.

When you were a kid, you thought you could be anything. There were no limits to what was possible because you hadn’t yet learned “the rules.”

Slowly but surely you start to understand the societal guidelines for how you’re supposed to live:

That’s the prescription society gives you. The people around you will try to put you in a box as well. The people you grow up with and surround yourself with today have a certain impression of you. It’s hard to shake.

There’s a saying:

No one is a prophet at home.

If you decide to make a big change in your life out of the blue, it won’t mesh well with the way people have come to know you.

I was always the kid who started projects but never finished them and always had these half-baked ideas that never saw the light of day.

Because of that, when I started writing, people were skeptical. They wrote it off as another phase. Had I let them “assign me a role,” I wouldn’t be where I am today, eight years later, with a business doing what I love.

You have a choice. Either let society and the people in it shape your future with their opinion of you OR decide your reality is stronger. Paint a vision for your life that’s no one else’s but your own.

From Greene again:

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions—your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

How do you get there?

Greene has a few recommendations:

In his Ted Talk, he talks about the journey that led to him writing the 48 Laws of Power. He bounced around a ton of odd jobs, writing in different forms the whole time, and used his observations from those jobs as seeds for what would become the book.

2. Read the room (and know when to keep your mouth shut)

Think as you like but behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

This is an interesting one for me. I often share controversial opinions in my writing, on social media, and in public.

Sometimes, those opinions spill into personal conversations, depending on who I’m talking to. But I try to remind myself that some forums are better than others.

When you’re trying to build an empire, and you have a master plan, don’t talk about it.

As much as I run my mouth online, I don’t spend much time in my personal life trying to convert people to my cause. I’m not an evangelist on a day-to-day basis.

Why?

Often, when you hear an opinion you disagree with, or you’re around someone who has a worldview you don’t share, just smile, nod, and agree. Learn how to be a social chameleon. This doesn’t make you fake; it makes you smart. Some bears simply aren’t worth poking.

3. This Robert Greene quote shows us why less is more

Always say less than necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Have you ever noticed how people seem to talk out of a sense of anxiety? Like they have to talk or else they’d be too uncomfortable to sit with the present moment?

Or how about someone who, at first glance, appears to be confident but you can tell just how insecure they are? Or what about running across someone you thought was interesting, only to find out minutes later that you don’t want to be around them?

Think of all the little subconscious feelings you pick up when you’re listening to people talk and know that they’re reading you the exact same way.

It’s weird. You get a sense of gratification from talking, even though it can be a strategic fumble.

It happens to me all the time.

I’ll hear someone say something false and I want to correct them. Someone will talk about an accomplishment that I know I can one up. I’ll have this deep philosophical treatise I want to share with a group.

But nine times out of ten it’s just better to keep your mouth shut.

Why?

So you can listen. You can pick up much more information when you’re not concerned with your words. People will tell you what they want if you just listen.

And you’ll be able to see them for who they really are if you pay attention. You can stay in their good graces by, not faking, but modeling yourself as best you can to the traits they like.

All of this is easier if you’re not preoccupied with what you want to say next.

4. Perfection is overrated (and will hurt your rep)

Never appear too perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Who do sports fans hate? The team that wins the championships every year. Who do kids in class despise? The know-it-all, Mr. or Ms. Perfect.

Humans have a natural tendency to drag each other down, gossip, and feel envy. And the thing is, the psychological pull is so deep and it sits at such a subconscious level that people can’t help themselves.

This is going to sound cold, stay with me: It’s better to look at human beings not as people who have free will, but as people who think they have free will and respond to certain triggers. 

Standing out and appearing perfect will trigger people to dislike you, no matter how nice or well-intentioned you are.

You still want to thrive. You still want to be the best in your field and master your craft. And you can. It doesn’t take much to get rid of a perfect persona.

Look at my writing, for example. I share stories about my own screw-ups on purpose because I know people hate self-important gurus who act like they have zero problems.

5. Stop believing people won’t let you down

Be wary of friends—they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

I take this Robert Greene quote and use it more broadly in how I interact with people.

I’m not Machiavellian. I just understand how people are. It’s strange to look at your friends and think they’ll betray you, especially when things are going well, but, you’ve been betrayed by friends before, haven’t you?

Friends, family, and romantic partners can lull you into complacency. You think they’re going to love you forever. But things change. The most severe pain comes when someone who once loved and cared for you does a complete 180.

Is the moral of the story to never make any human connections?

No.

It’s to be more mindful of human nature, especially the dark side of it. Stop being naive when it comes to relationships, period.

You want to have many different relationships and types of alliances with people. You must understand that there are different areas to bring certain people into. This Robert Greene quote comes to mind:

Keep your friends for friendship, but work with the skilled and competent.

Be careful mixing friendship and business. Be mindful of the information you leak out. Remember the crabs-in-a-barrel effect that drives human behaviors, even those closest to you. Especially them.

6. It’s what you do with your emotions that counts

An emotional response to a situation is the single greatest barrier to power, a mistake that will cost you a lot more than any temporary satisfaction you might gain by expressing your feelings.

It’s hard to be persuasive, powerful, and strategic because you’re so prone to letting your emotions drive your behavior. You can’t avoid feeling certain emotions because they’re snap judgments. Greene says:

You cannot repress anger or love, or avoid feeling them, and you should not try.

But you can decide what to do with these emotions.

Look at the society we live in right now. It’s filled with outraged, emotionally-driven, juvenile people. It’s a horrible time for them to live in, but a perfect time for those with emotional intelligence to see through the noise and constructively channel their feelings.

I always ask myself whether or not my emotions and beliefs are useful.

Are they going to help me get what I want?

Will they make me a better leader, friend, or partner?

Will I let my emotions destroy me or build a foundation by flipping the script?

Can I turn anger into purpose, envy into action, outrage into inward focus?

You can learn to control your emotions by understanding that you can take control of your life in the long run.

If you keep your mouth shut, work on your plan quietly, get along well with others, and play your societal role in the short term, you can have everything you want when it’s all said and done.

This leads me to my last and favorite quote…

7. Tying these Robert Greene quotes together

Always seem patient, as if you know everything you want is going to come to you eventually.

Notice a theme here yet?

You should never be too up or down. Move forward. Don’t be overly preoccupied with the world or what others think. Just follow your plan.

When people ask, “How’s that thing going?” You smile politely and say “Good.”

You work in private. It doesn’t matter whether or not others think you can pull off your dream. 

You are the only one who needs to believe that.

You will not sit passively. You know the universe will eventually catch up to your efforts if you work on yourself, develop useful skills, and master persuasion and social dynamics.

You need a ton of emotional restraint to pull any of this off, but these lessons are like a cheat code to life.

Patience itself is a cheat code to life.

Everyone else is frantic and stuck or giving in to their short-term emotions.

Be different. Sit back, plan, work, plot, observe.

Then, when you “make it,” everyone around you will wonder how you did it. They’ll see you as an overnight success.

You’ll know all the work you did to get there, but you won’t talk about that with other people. You’ll just continue on your journey with the quiet confidence that got you this far in the first place.