To be fully transparent, I never wanted to get into sales.
I’m a writer through and through, which led me to a career in digital marketing as a content creator.
It didn’t take long before I was getting sales training at the agencies I worked for, much to my chagrin.
I found it challenging, intimidating, cringey—but once I got the swing of it, I realized that my sales abilities had improved my life in a number of ways.
One of those was that it taught me how to talk to people.
Now, before you roll your eyes and think, “I already know how to talk to people,” hear me out. IMO, talking to people in real life is harder now than ever.
Gen Z, in particular, faces a set of challenges that previous generations didn’t have to think about. Take telephobia, for example—the anxiety around making and receiving phone calls. (Yes, it’s actually a thing.)
One survey of 2,000 people revealed that nearly a quarter of 18- to 34-year-olds never answer their phones, and over half assume that an unexpected call means bad news.
Instead, most communication happens through text, social media, and voice notes, where there’s time to think, edit, and curate responses.
And it’s not just phone calls—interactions that were once face-to-face have shifted, too.
Dating, for example, has shifted dramatically in the age of apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Approaching someone in person feels almost foreign when the norm has become swiping through profiles and sending perfectly crafted messages.
Suddenly, walking up to a stranger at a coffee shop or striking up a conversation at a party feels riskier.
These shifts have made real-time conversations more stressful, awkward, and easy to avoid. But the truth is, whether you’re on the phone, networking, dating, or just making small talk with a barista, the ability to confidently talk to people is one of the most valuable skills you can develop.
That’s where sales comes in.
In this article, I’m going to show you how working in sales can help you learn a number of important skills that make talking to people much easier, and make conversations more rewarding.
And be sure to check out my other articles on this same topic:
Finding common ground with strangers
Most people have had this experience: You’re introduced to someone new, and within just a few sentences, it seems like you’ve both run out of things to say.
This can happen during networking events, on first dates, or even when catching up with old friends after a long time apart.
Silence in a conversation isn’t a bad thing, but no one likes it to stretch on for an uncomfortably long time.
In a sales career, awkward and uncomfortable silence can ruin a sale. In fact, the only way to get a sale across the line is to establish common ground with your target, no matter who they are.
The key here is being able to talk about many things, even things that don’t necessarily interest you.
And for that to work, you have to be genuinely interested in the person you’re talking to, more so than whatever it is they want to talk about.
For example, perhaps you find yourself in a conversation with someone who is incredibly interested in historical fiction. That’s not a genre you’re fond of, but you can still show curiosity in the subject when you shift your focus to the person you’re talking to. What is it about historical fiction that they like?
If you allow your curiosity about this person to guide you, you can certainly come up with a few questions that will make the conversation flow well:
“What historical periods do you find most interesting?”
“What do you think people can learn from historical fiction?”
“What’s the best/funniest/weirdest book you’ve read in that genre?”
These are all questions that are seemingly about the person’s stated interest, but also open up opportunities for the conversation to flow in any number of directions (including away from historical fiction).
The ability to connect with anyone, anywhere, is a skill that can take you far—not just in conversation, but in life. In fact, this is one of the biggest takeaways from working in sales. As one Vector alum put it:
Whether you’re using this tactic in sales or everyday conversation, finding common ground with anyone will serve you well. And if you want to fast-track this skill, getting real-world experience—like working in sales—might be the best move you ever make.
Mastering the art of subtlety
Sales has taught me that the fastest way to turn someone off is to be too aggressive.
When I first started doing sales, I would jump straight into my pitch at the earliest opportunity—and I bombed every time.
What I learned through countless rejections was that people can sense when you’re trying to force a conversation in a specific direction.
The real skill in sales isn’t convincing someone to buy something, but rather creating an environment where they feel comfortable exploring an idea with you.
This translates perfectly to regular conversation, where pushing too hard on any topic can make people defensive or uncomfortable.
I discovered that the best salespeople mirror the energy and pace of the person they’re talking to, adapting their approach based on subtle cues.
Take networking events, for example: Rather than launching into your rehearsed elevator pitch, you might comment on the venue, ask about someone’s journey to the event, or share a quick observation about the industry.
Yes, I know this counts as small talk. But small talk gets a bad rap—gentle conversation starters create natural openings for deeper discussion without making anyone feel cornered or pressured.
The same principle applies when you’re trying to get to know someone better, whether in a professional or personal context. Instead of interrogating someone with rapid-fire questions, you can drop casual references to your own experiences and see which ones they naturally pick up on.
Maybe you mention a recent hiking trip, and if they light up at that topic, you know you’ve found a natural direction for the conversation to flow.
This subtle approach requires patience and practice, but it leads to much more authentic connections than trying to force a specific outcome.
Learning this skill in sales completely changed how I approach all my conversations—I stopped trying to control where they went and started enjoying the journey of discovery instead.
Facing rejection with grace
Most people hate rejection so much they’ll do anything to avoid it.
I used to be the same way—before working in sales, I’d rather stay quiet than risk someone shutting me down or disagreeing with me.
Sales forces you to face rejection head-on, sometimes dozens of times per day. 🥴
The first few rejections sting, but something interesting happens when you keep pushing through: You start to realize that rejection rarely has anything to do with you personally.
Sometimes people are having a bad day, sometimes they’re stressed about money, sometimes they just don’t need what you’re offering—and that’s perfectly fine.
This mindset shift is incredibly valuable in everyday conversation, especially when you’re trying to build new relationships or expand your social circle.
Let’s say you’re at a party and try to join a conversation group, but they don’t really make space for you or include you in their discussion.
Pre-sales me would have taken this personally and probably avoided social situations for the next week. Post-sales me understands that maybe they’re all old friends catching up, or perhaps they’re in the middle of a story I don’t have context for.
The key is to bounce back quickly—if one conversation doesn’t work out, you simply move on to the next opportunity with the same energy and optimism.
When you stop fearing rejection, you create so many more opportunities for meaningful connections.
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Developing persuasion skills
My understanding of persuasion used to be very limited—I thought it was all about having the perfect comeback or winning an argument.
Working in sales taught me that effective persuasion techniques have nothing to do with heated debates or clever comebacks.
True persuasion starts with understanding what matters to the other person and finding ways to connect their needs with your ideas.
In sales, you quickly learn that presenting cold, hard facts rarely moves people to action—emotions and personal relevance are what drive decisions.
This understanding completely changed how I approach conversations where I need to get buy-in from others, whether at work or in my personal life.
For example, when I want to convince my friends to try a new restaurant, I don’t just list off the menu items or rave about the food.
Instead, I think about what each friend values: Maybe one cares about supporting local businesses, another loves discovering unique cocktails, and someone else is always looking for Instagram-worthy spots. When making my “pitch” to friends, I’ll highlight these aspects of the restaurants I’m suggesting.
The same approach works in professional settings—when pitching ideas in meetings, I focus on how my suggestions solve specific problems for different team members.
This isn’t manipulation; it’s recognizing that everyone has different motivations and speaking to what matters to them.
The best part? These skills make you a better friend and colleague because you’re actually paying attention to what people care about.
Using humor and thinking on your feet
Every salesperson has experienced that moment when a pitch goes completely off the rails.
During my early days in sales, these moments would send me into a panic—I’d freeze up, stumble over my words, or try desperately to steer the conversation back to my script.
Then I watched how experienced salespeople handled these situations: They’d laugh, make a joke, or turn an awkward moment into a chance to connect with their prospect.
Sales teaches you that perfect conversations don’t exist, and that’s actually a good thing.
You learn to embrace unexpected turns in conversation because they often lead to more authentic connections than any pre-planned dialogue ever could.
I remember one sales call where I failed to notice I had the wrong slides up, and was talking about something completely unrelated before the person on the other end of the Zoom called me out.
Instead of getting flustered by the interruption, I laughed and told a story about how I’d gotten off track that morning when my dog woke me up at four in the morning to go outside.
Was it the funniest story in the world? No, but it was enough to turn what could have been a very embarrassing and awkward moment into something real and relatable.
These skills translate directly to social situations—being able to improvise and find humor is invaluable.
And if you’re not a natural comedian, then you should check out my article on how to be funny.
Learning to read the room
Early in my sales career, I was laser-focused on my pitch, goals, and talking points.
A mentor finally pulled me aside and asked, “Have you noticed how people are checking their phones while you’re talking?”
That feedback hit hard, but it taught me one of the most valuable lessons in communication: paying attention to how people respond to you is just as important as what you’re saying.
Sales forces you to become highly attuned to subtle signals—fidgeting, changes in tone, crossed arms, wandering eyes, or sudden shifts in energy. You start to recognize when someone is genuinely engaged versus when they’re just being polite, and you learn to adjust your approach accordingly.
Sometimes that means wrapping up a conversation earlier than planned; other times it means diving deeper into a topic that’s clearly resonating.
I’ve found this skill particularly useful in group settings, where you need to balance multiple people’s interest levels and engagement. You might notice one person leaning in while another starts to withdraw, or spot someone trying to jump in but struggling to find an opening.
These observation skills help you become a better conversation partner because you’re constantly calibrating your approach based on real-time feedback.
The best part about learning to read the room is that it takes the pressure off you—instead of worrying about what to say next, you’re focused on understanding and responding to the people around you.
Building genuine confidence
The biggest myth about confident people is that they were born that way.
Before my time in sales, I assumed some people just naturally knew how to command attention and others (like me) were destined to hover awkwardly at the edges of conversations.
But spending hours each day talking to strangers showed me that confidence isn’t a personality trait—it’s a skill you develop through practice.
Sales puts you in situations where you have no choice but to push through your social anxiety and self-doubt.
At first, every call feels terrifying, every pitch feels clumsy, and every interaction seems like it could go horribly wrong.
Then something remarkable happens: After your hundredth conversation with a stranger, you start to realize that most people are just as nervous as you used to be.
You begin to understand that confidence isn’t about being the loudest or most charismatic person in the room.
Real confidence comes from knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way in a conversation—even if it’s awkward, even if you make a mistake, even if someone rejects you.
And the more you practice, the bigger your comfort zone gets. One Vector sales rep summed it up perfectly:
This kind of earned confidence will show up in every area of your life, and it is life-changing.
For more guidance on confidence, check out these resources:
Learning how to talk to people doesn’t have to be a mystery—it’s about putting yourself in situations where you have no choice but to practice. Whether you pursue a career in sales or simply incorporate these principles into your daily life, remember that every awkward moment and uncomfortable silence is actually helping you grow. Your next great conversation is just around the corner.
