I was in the office, minding my own business at my desk, when I heard yelling from across the floor. Looking up, I saw one of my colleagues—let’s call her Jen—crying, along with my manager and a woman I didn’t recognize.
After a lot of screaming and bawling, Jen grabbed all of her stuff and stormed out of the office. The other woman awkwardly sat down, booted up the computer, and got to work. My manager looked around uncomfortably, then went back to her desk. Neither of them spoke about it again.
Turns out, that was Jen’s last day of probation. They were going to let her go, but our manager had forgotten to tell her. The other woman was Jen’s replacement, and they both didn’t find out until they showed up at the office.
Awkward.
As mortifying as it was to watch this real-life drama unfold, the truth is that uncomfortable situations happen all the time.
They’re inevitable.
Maybe you said something that came out wrong in a meeting. Maybe you witnessed a colleague getting called out in front of everyone. Maybe you walked in on a conversation you definitely weren’t supposed to hear.
Whatever it was, you probably remember exactly how it felt—that stomach-dropping moment when you realize something has gone sideways and you’re not sure how to fix it.
What separates people who handle uncomfortable situations well from people who make them worse usually comes down to a few simple strategies. Keep reading for my top do’s and don’ts to hold it together when you wish you could disappear.
The importance of learning to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations
Uncomfortable situations like this come up all the time.
Sometimes we cause them by tripping up our words in a conversation, losing our train of thought in an important meeting, or saying something inappropriate without thinking. Sometimes we’re on the receiving end of a bad joke or feel uneasy with the environment. And sometimes we’re caught smack bang in the middle of an awkward moment, unsure of what to do next.
Bottom line is, sooner or later, you’ll find yourself in an uncomfortable situation. What matters and defines us is how we handle them. When you take uncertainty and discomfort in stride, you’ll grow personally and professionally.
The next time you’re confronted with an uncomfortable situation, follow these dos and don’ts to effectively handle the situation and keep your dignity intact.
Do: Pause and think before reacting
Rule number one for any uncomfortable situation: stop, think, then act. Your kneejerk reaction often isn’t the most appropriate.
Related: Learn how to spot and avoid these thinking traps
When you’re feeling the pressure from an awkward situation, try to stay calm. Focus on deep breathing: inhale through your nose and let your abdomen fully expand, hold for a second, then exhale through your mouth. This exercise helps regulate your nervous system so you won’t be overwhelmed and can think clearly.
If the situation allows, remove yourself from the environment completely. Go for a walk, grab a cup of coffee, then come back. You’ll often find yourself more calm, collected, and able to look at everything from a fresh perspective.
What I’m suggesting, by the way, is a form of in-the-moment meditation. But practicing mindfulness and meditation regularly will make handling awkward situations much easier in the long run. If that interests you, check out these guides:
Don’t: Ignore the problem
Sweeping the uncomfortable situation under the rug might FEEL like the best response. But when you completely ignore the issue (like my manager did), you end up damaging reputations or relationships rather than protecting them.
Disclaimer: I’m not saying you should call someone out and go all Will Smith on them.
Instead, try to diffuse the situation in the moment, then come back and acknowledge it as soon as everyone is ready to talk about it without getting upset or emotional. If you leave it hanging in the air, you leave the door open to gossip, interpretation, and speculation—and trust me, that never goes well for anyone.
A few years ago, I saw first-hand what happens when you ignore the problem.
I had resigned from a managerial role and called my team into a meeting room to break the news. During the announcement, one of my team members got incredibly upset, burst into tears in front of everyone, and wouldn’t stop—even after five minutes. I asked her to go to the bathroom and freshen up, and we finished the meeting without her. She came back later, sat down at her desk, got back to work, and didn’t acknowledge it again.
Days later, I heard colleagues talking about her immaturity and her lack of ability to handle adversity. That perception stayed with her and led to her getting passed over for a promotion she was perfectly capable of handling. All because she didn’t acknowledge the situation, own up to it, and show that it wouldn’t happen again.
Even if you don’t want them to, people talk. Set the record straight and handle it with dignity with open and honest communication, and you’ll make it that much easier for everyone to get past it.
Do: Smile and make a joke (if it’s appropriate)
Jokes aren’t always in good taste, but they can be a good way to diffuse an awkward situation.
The key is knowing when humor will help versus when it will make things worse.
Humor works best for moments where you’ve either tripped up or made a minor snafu, like forgetting your speech during a sales pitch or showing up at work somehow with your dress inside out (guilty as charged).
Laughing it off eases the tension, and makes it easier for people to brush it off and get on with their day.
And if you want to brush up your quick-wit skills, check out our article on how to be funny.
Don’t: Get judgmental
We’re all guilty of judging ourselves (and others) harshly for mistakes. But while it’s the easiest reaction to have, it’s also the one that leaves us with overreactions, self-doubt, and a whole bunch of gossip that often blows out more dramatically than a game of Telephone.
The next time you’re faced with an awkward situation, try to practice empathy and forgiveness rather than judgment.
In Elsa’s words, let it go:
Said the wrong thing or did something embarrassing? Guess what? You’re human! Give yourself a break, accept it happened, and keep going.
Any time you catch your mind drifting back to that situation, stop yourself from going down the rabbit hole. Remind yourself that these things happen and that you’re far from the only one to have done something uncomfortable or embarrassing.
The same goes for your colleagues, friends, family, or even strangers. When you accept the discomfort and give them the benefit of the doubt, you can bet that they’ll do the same for you.
Do: Admit fault when you’ve made it awkward
Sometimes, awkward situations happen for no good reason at all—random circumstances or the natural quirks of being human bring them about.
Other times, awkward situations happen because of something we’ve done. In such cases, it may be tempting to bury your head in the sand or hope the situation just blows over. But the easy thing to do, in this case, is not the right thing to do.
Instead, practice making a direct, honest, and transparent apology if you’ve made things awkward.
For example, let’s say you’re in a work meeting, and you find yourself getting heated about a particular topic. You are interrupting people, talking too loudly, and getting more emotional than you want to be.
If you can catch yourself in such a moment, don’t just ignore your behavior and hope the moment will pass.
Instead, own it by saying something like, “I’m sorry—I’m passionate about this topic, and I lost myself for a moment. It was rude of me to interrupt. Please go on.” That’s all you need to do to recover an awkward moment of your own doing.
Don’t: Apologize if you don’t need to
Apologizing when you’ve made a situation awkward is a good idea—but apologizing for an uncomfortable situation that you didn’t cause can make the whole thing even more awkward.
It can be tempting to apologize for other people who made things awkward, or apologize simply because things are awkward even though no one made them so.
But it’s not your responsibility to cover other people’s awkwardness, and apologizing for things that aren’t your fault can cause other people to have negative perceptions of you.
When you feel the urge to apologize, pause and consider whether you’ve actually done anything wrong. If you haven’t, and you don’t feel remorse, then find something better to say, or say nothing at all.
Do: Remember that people might not even notice
My friend and I do kickboxing, and one of the things we practice is shadow boxing. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, it’s exactly what it sounds like. You kick and punch the air while imagining an opponent is in front of you.
I’m not going to lie: it’s weird.
It takes a LONG time to stop feeling awkward when shadow boxing (when I reach that stage, I’ll let you know).
And my friend felt all of that discomfort bubble up when our trainer asked her to shadow box. Alone. In the middle of the boxing ring. On a particularly crowded day at the gym.
She told me later that she was nearly in tears from having to do that because she felt so awkward and on display.
The reality is, though, that everyone else at the gym was doing their own thing, and many of them had never done kickboxing before in their lives. To them, she was just another gym-goer practicing her punches and kicks—and they probably thought she was a certified ninja.
The point here is that we tend to place TOO much emphasis on what we do, and how other people perceive us. In reality, everyone is so caught up in doing their own thing that they hardly notice when things aren’t going well or according to plan.
Don’t: Try to fill the silence
In my experience, uncomfortable situations are usually accompanied by one of the following:
- Nervous laughter
- A massive blowout
- Stone. Cold. Silence.
And the first thing people do when there’s silence is to try and fill it.
Silence in and of itself is an uncomfortable thing. Believe it or not, a study by the University of Groningen found that once there’s a four-second lull in a conversation held in English, people start to feel unsettled. Needless to say, when it comes following an uncomfortable moment, it gets even MORE unsettling.
This is where it pays to stop and sit in the silence for a bit, rather than immediately panicking and rushing in with some ill-thought-out comment, Michael Scott style.
Try not to let silence pressure you into coming up with a response. Think through what happened and run through what you’re going to say in your head before blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. If you need a moment, excuse yourself and step away from the conversation.
Yes, it will feel INCREDIBLY awkward at the time. But it’s a whole lot less awkward than digging a deeper hole for yourself or the people around you.
Do: Try to read the room
Remember what I said above: Sometimes, you may be the only one who feels something is uncomfortable.
Other times, however, there may be an uncomfortable situation happening around you, and you are completely oblivious.
This is why it pays to work on your people skills, and learn how to read other people’s reactions as best you can. Pay close attention to how other people act in situations that have the potential to be awkward.
Is the new hire at work lingering in the breakroom? You might think they’re just having some downtime, but perhaps they’re looking to strike up a conversation and don’t know how to start.
Did your friend suddenly go silent halfway through the meal you’re having together?
Instead of ignoring it, ask them what’s going on. They just might tell you that their ex walked in and is sitting at the bar—valuable information you need to prevent the situation from being even more awkward for them!
Don’t: Bring up awkward situations when they’re over
You’ve survived an awkward situation, and now looking back, you can see how funny the whole thing was. It’s great that you’re able to move on—but everyone else involved may not feel the same way!
Sometimes, it’s fine to bring up an old and awkward situation. But only do this if you are certain that no one is still stinging from the awkwardness. Otherwise, you risk making the situation even more uncomfortable for someone who is just trying to move on.
“Hey, Callie, remember when you spilled red wine all over your shirt at that fancy restaurant?” This might sound funny to you, but Callie (or whoever) might feel a rush of embarrassment, being forced to recall a moment they’d rather forget.
Do: Act confident (even if you’re not)
Most of us have insecurities that bubble up to the surface when we slip up.
You might already be uncomfortable speaking in public and forgetting your point mid-presentation only feeds into that fear. Or maybe you want to impress someone, only to do something incredibly awkward like Cady from “Mean Girls”:
That’s when it helps to have someone confident that you can channel, like a manager, a self-assured friend, or even a character from your favorite series.
Think of how they would respond to the situation, and let that inform your own response. This tactic is also a great way to help pull you out of the moment, disconnect a bit from your own insecurities, and view the situation from an objective perspective.
Don’t: Make it about you when it’s not
When someone else is having an uncomfortable moment, resist the urge to jump in with your own stories or experiences.
It’s tempting to think that sharing a similar experience will make the other person feel better. “Oh my god, I totally do that too!” or “That reminds me of when I…” might seem supportive, but it often just redirects attention away from them when they need space to recover.
The same goes for offering unsolicited advice or explanations. If your coworker just stumbled through a presentation, they don’t need you to immediately start coaching them on public speaking. Let them process the moment first.
Your role in someone else’s awkward situation is simple: be present, be supportive, and let them handle it their way. Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing at all.
Do: Follow up privately when needed
Some uncomfortable situations need resolution, but not in front of an audience.
Maybe you snapped at a coworker during a meeting. Maybe there was tension during a group conversation that left things feeling unfinished. A quick private message or one-on-one conversation later can clear the air without prolonging the public awkwardness.
The key is timing. Give everyone a bit of space to cool down first, then reach out. “Hey, can we talk about what happened earlier?” shows you’re taking responsibility without forcing the other person into another uncomfortable public moment.
This approach works especially well in professional settings where maintaining someone’s dignity matters. Pulling someone aside to apologize or clarify shows respect and maturity that handling everything publicly sometimes lacks.
Don’t: Force a resolution immediately
Not every uncomfortable situation needs to be solved right then and there.
When something awkward happens, there’s often pressure to fix it instantly—to explain yourself, to make everyone feel better, to tie it up with a neat bow. But pushing for immediate resolution when emotions are still running high usually backfires.
Sometimes people need time to process what happened. Sometimes the situation will naturally defuse on its own if you just let it breathe. Forcing someone to accept an apology they’re not ready for, or demanding to “talk it out” when tensions are still fresh, can make the discomfort worse.
Pay attention to the other person’s cues. If they seem like they need space, give it to them. You can always check in later when everyone has had a chance to calm down and think clearly.
Do: Give people an out
When someone else is clearly drowning in an uncomfortable moment, one of the kindest things you can do is offer them a graceful exit.
Maybe your colleague just bombed a joke in front of the team. Maybe a friend is rambling nervously and digging themselves deeper. Instead of letting them suffer through it, create an opportunity for them to escape.
This can be as simple as changing the subject, asking a question that shifts focus elsewhere, or even creating a physical reason to step away. “Hey, I need to grab something from my desk—want to come with?” gives someone a legitimate reason to remove themselves from an awkward situation.
The key is to do this smoothly, without drawing more attention to the discomfort. You’re not announcing “let me rescue you from this awkward moment”—you’re opening a door they can walk through if they want to.
Practice makes (almost) perfect: Putting yourself in uncomfortable situations
Now that you know what not to do and what to do, it’s time to practice.
The best way to get better at handling awkward moments is to intentionally put yourself in situations that make you a little uncomfortable. Not traumatic, anxiety-inducing scenarios—but safe, low-stakes situations where you can build your tolerance for discomfort.
Think of it like exposure therapy, but for social awkwardness. The more you practice navigating these moments, the less they’ll rattle you when they happen unexpectedly.
Here are some ways to practice:
Go to an event solo. Show up to a meetup, concert, or workshop by yourself. You’ll have to introduce yourself to strangers and make small talk without the safety net of a friend.
Try something new. Order an unfamiliar dish at a restaurant you’ve never been to. Take a class in something you know nothing about. The discomfort of being a beginner builds resilience.
Say yes to invitations you might otherwise decline. That party where you won’t know anyone? The work happy hour that feels awkward? Go anyway. You’ll survive the discomfort and probably learn something.
Learn how to network. Networking events are designed to be slightly uncomfortable—everyone’s there to meet strangers and make connections. It’s a great way to practice handling awkward introductions and conversations while getting something valuable in return.
The goal isn’t to eliminate all discomfort from your life, but rather become comfortable being uncomfortable, so when those truly awkward moments hit, you’re ready.
Last but not least, do remember that this too shall pass
In any uncomfortable situation, it can feel like time has come to a grinding halt. In reality, even the toughest of situations will eventually come to an end and people will go on with their lives. When you recognize that every awkward moment has its end, it’s far easier to deal with it, brush it off, and move on.
